I hereby declare today my un-birthday due to a couple of unexpected gifts that uplifted my spirits.
I’ve been corresponding with a college student in a penpal program initiated by my local senior center, the purpose to connect different generations in the community. Our first “getting to know you” letters crossed in the mail.
Today I received a second letter, more informative, personal, and revealing of the concerns of a young woman navigating her education and goals under pandemic conditions. I was elated at the level of trust we had established, and even more so, that a young person would be interested in what my life was all about too.
Then, I received a phone call from a neighbor who had been a long-term faithful customer at my husband’s hair salon. She mentioned that her husband recently gave her a much-needed haircut that turned out to be a disaster. I asked her what kind of scissors he’d used (household) and more importantly, from my knowledge of the hairdressing biz, if they had ever been sharpened (no, they had not).
I offered to lend her Paul’s professional scissors, the valued tool of his trade and in a way, an extension of himself. When I left them in their case on the front stoop, I found a bouquet of flowers waiting for me, mostly Black-eyed Susans bountiful in August gardens.
Sweet all around, and still feeling it. 
August is my birthday month. Early in my life, August going into September was the most special time, my own New Year. I turned a new age. School started and I entered the next grade with a new teacher. The Jewish High Holidays arrived and with it, reading inspired passages in the prayer book and getting another chance to be a better person.
This year began with trips, in January, February, and March, to New York City for a week as a couch-surfer in my daughter’s apartment. Taking the children to school and daycare involved dressing them with many layers of winter clothing, then removing them upon arrival, only to begin the complicated process again at pickup time. The sharp wind sliced at us between tall buildings lining city blocks until we finally reached our warm destination.
This routine ended on March 6th. I returned to Massachusetts on Amtrak with plans to return the next month for early springtime and forsythia bursting like fireflies in Central Park. Then, on March 15th, our Massachusetts Governor declared a shelter-in-place order and ordered closing of all public venues due to fears of the spreading coronavirus.
We’ve all experienced the course of events, with their life-changing and death-dealing personal, political, social, economic, and global impacts.
As I write this in mid-August, those icy winter days are a distant memory, and there is plenty of time before the next winter makes itself known.
The intervening summer is a season of social, political, and racial conflict, unrelenting spread of illness and rising death counts, parents struggling with school decisions, and the start of what will surely be a brutal presidential campaign, in the media and between citizens too.
I’m feeling that my birthday is irrelevant this year, to me and in the scheme of things. I don’t want to be the center of attention for any reason during this year like no other.
Yet some in my life have already mentioned it. My cousin Donna reminded me of the vacation we took last August to Kennebunkport. I did the driving and she treated me to a stay at a historic New England hotel in the style of bygone days, rocking chairs on the veranda and an endless green lawn stretching down to water’s edge.
David tells me has already been thinking of what we could plan this month to make the day special.
My two senior center buddies scheduled a date for a socially distant visit in my backyard, in place of the birthday excursions we enjoyed at Wentworth-by-the-Sea, celebrations of our friendship in February, July, and August.
Like every other milestone that comes up, there is no precedent for how to deal with them in a pandemic. A wedding I’d been invited to was postponed for a year. High school and college graduations were cancelled or, in a few cases, laboriously carried out with strict guidelines.
It’s the one day of the year that I can’t declare an un-birthday. I intend to acknowledge the changeover on the odometer not by a trip up the coast or with a restaurant dinner (neither being safe enough) but by adopting my little grandson’s designation of who I am from his own fresh perspective.
He couldn’t possibly understand what the numbers mean, but in his own way senses the span of the seven-decade difference between us.
”Gramma has gray hair. Does that mean she’s almost old?”
He defined exactly where I am at. On the edge of almost.
His musings on time stun me with their clarity. I’ll leave him with the last word on the subject for now.
Love it. Thank you.
Thank you Gail for reading and commenting favorably on my August Birthday piece, much appreciated.
Love this, Barrie. Your grandson is special! I love “almost old.” This is
how I think of myself at least some of the time–I have my days when
I feel really old. Kids say the sweetest things. They can feed our souls.
Another charming piece. Adrian’s comment made me smile. I hope we can return to our annual trips next year. Maybe you will plan to come and visit.
With love,
Donna
I’m hoping for a much improved 2021 and resumption of the wonderful visits we had up and down the East Coast, from Maine to Florida.
Yes Hilary, when the little guy said that, it immediately struck me as wise and true.
Ah Barrie! I remember when I got to celebrate your birthday with you watched fireworks out on the water, enjoying lovely family dinners and brunches, and that wonderful sea smell where you live. Sending love!
Accepting your birthday wishes in advance, cousin!
Barrie – We have never met, but whenever I read your wonderful postings, I feel like you’re an old friend. In one of your postings, you mentioned that you had a relative named Gussie. That was my mother’s name. I don’t think it was such an uncommon name early in the 20th Century,
especially among Jewish families.
Thank you for brightening my day. It’s something we all need more of these days.
Thank you Joanie for your very kind words. I value each and every one of my readers, and nothing makes me happier than to make connections and then hear about it.
There was an Aunt Gussie on my mother’s side of the family (older generation, European born) and I think some occasionally called my Grandma Gitel (on my father’s side) by the name Gussie.
I hope I can continue to measure up to your expectations!
I love that your grandson said you’re “almost old”. Kids say the cutest things! This year, with all the awful things that have happened, you definitely should celebrate your birthday. You need to have something positive to look forward to in the midst of all this craziness.
Thank you Judy. I do agree with you and hope to enjoy the day.
Love what your grandson said. My granddaughter said when asked my age quote, your old and your going to die soon, but I’ll keep you in my heart
That’s a good one Remas! I do love what the little ones say, unfiltered.
LOL to both grandkids.
Ah Barrie, I’ve been thinking of your upcoming birthday since I changed the calender to August. Now to find out I missed your in-birthday makes me think I should celebrate each day of the remainder of August as Barrie-day! Make this August a celebration of joy! Your Grandson has the right idea, you look fabulous! Keep that smile going and pamper yourself every day. Have a super duper August – there’s no hiding from it! I’m sure David and your kids will not let such an opportunity go uncelebrated. Watching this space. Enjoy every day. With lots of love xxx
Magdeld, I needed this cheerful and oh so inspiring message, thank you my friend. And I hope you are faring well. There is still time in August to anticipate and enjoy the blessings in my life. I don’t ever forget them, even as we — and the world — contend with immense hardship and challenge at every turn. Your friendship and good will give me hope 💜
Thanks my friend, I today is a happy day, so we celebrate it. And tomorrow is a new day! Enjoy your festive month, today is the birthday of another good friend, and my late Dad’s birthday was the 4th. I hope you can find the cheerfulness of your birthday before it happens and then, celebrate like mad! Lots of love xxx
Happy birthday my dear friend. Hope this year brings you joy and happiness far beyond your wildest expectations. Treasure each moment and may blessings and happiness be yours this year. Lots of love xxx
Thank you for remembering my August 30th bday. I am another day older LOL! It’s so nice to hear from you, friend Magdeld.
Hope it was a fun day!
Hiya Barrie,
Been awhile, nice to be back. No one cuts through the complexity of it all quite like a one liner from a child. Great juxtaposition there. As the numbers creep up “on the odometer” and the grey array fans out upon your top I hope that his mere presence reminds you to never let go of the hand of your inner child. Riding bikes, scraping knees, anticipating with a relish that one day that is your day. Cake, ice cream, blowing out candles….”Happy Birthday toooo youuuu…..”
Gaw, your Mom was beautiful. Great anecdote about Paul’s scissors too.
Frank Armitage