Ready for Wenham

When we moved here in 2003, I wasn’t quite ready for Wenham.

My husband Paul and I downsized to our ranch house on Essex Street from our family homestead in Essex. On the same day that we passed papers, he turned on the ignition of his Kubota farm tractor and began to reshape the landscape, clear overgrown brush, take down trees to make room for a vegetable garden, plant lilacs and hedges along the border. He unearthed boulders with his backhoe and created an impressive burn pit in the far corner of the property, close to the wetlands.

During our first spring here, we delighted in the unexpected emergence of the many beautiful perennials and flowering shrubs tended by Mrs. Wurzel, the previous owner.

We both worked out of town. Paul commuted the four miles each way to his hairdressing salon in Beverly Farms. I drove six miles to my law office in Salem. Our daughter Julianne at Brandeis, our son Max in rabbinical school, we had no children attending Wenham public schools.

Our house was on the edge of town, near Gordon College on Route 22, a stretch of open road between Essex and Beverly, not a cozy neighborhood block. We didn’t have a pet, so we didn’t meet other dog-walking residents along the Wenham Canal. Our synagogue was in Gloucester, our circle of friends back in Essex.

Wenham was a home base to return to, but not our community.

Yet, we had enjoyed some special Wenham experiences even before we moved here, as do many North Shore residents. When my daughter was young, we dressed up for the important coming-of-age ritual of Mother-Daughter tea and tiny cakes at the Wenham Tea House. We visited the Wenham Doll and Train Museum, drawn in by the magic world of elaborately dressed Victorian dolls and the model trains operated by a retired engineer.

When my husband became ill early in 2012, my life became centered around full-time caregiving at home. When he died, sadly, at the end of 2013, I sought comfort in my family, making frequent trips to our daughter in New York City, visiting my cousins up and down the East Coast, and staying for a month with our son Max and his family in Israel.

Paul and I had been married for forty-one blessed years. I felt adrift in the deepest sense of the word, and it wouldn’t have mattered where I lived. My first ten years in Wenham seemed like a journey from hope to loss.

I woke up to the reality of change in my life by surveying the yard in the early spring of 2014 — my one level acre of Wenham earth, lawn, pine trees and oaks, blossoming lilacs, ancient stone border walls, and the neglected vegetable garden that my husband had roto-tilled and lovingly planted until he was no longer able.

Although I faced my new life alone, I felt strengthened and supported by the peace and healing effect of this beautiful natural setting that had given both of us so much joy. I began to find the courage to step into the life of the community that surrounded me, and look for support there too.

Being a senior citizen, I am part of a ready-made affinity group — my peers on either side of my decade, on either side of town. I took yoga classes at the senior center, beginning the process of meeting residents one-on-one. In the summer, fresh garden vegetables for the taking filled planters at the entrance, a generous offering that reflects the community spirit fostered by the staff.

I applied to the senior property tax write-off program and received an assignment in the town clerk’s office. As part of my new role in municipal government, I attended the Citizens’ Leadership Academy, learning from employees and volunteers about each and every town service, board, department, and event. I gained full confidence in everyone I met who makes Wenham a safe and neighborly place for all generations and walks of life.

Jim Reynolds, WCOA director, learned that I enjoy writing and asked me to do a column for The Wenhamite, the monthly newsletter. This opportunity to “speak” to Wenham seniors and get to know them — friendly folks with diverse life experience, interests, talents, and generous outlook — is a privilege that enriches this time in my life. I am just beginning to appreciate how much I can thrive here.

It took a journey with a tentative start in 2003, then veered off in a direction that upended all of my life’s expectations. Finally, I can say with conviction — and gratitude — that Wenham is truly my home.